I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
