wat bout pragnant strippers??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize