just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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