In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Of course I have a pirate flag
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
