I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
