sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
