i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
