Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When are your genitals available?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize