Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
