Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
