Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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