i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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