I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
