Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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