Its about making memories worth repressing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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