she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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