My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
