I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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