Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
