This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
