I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
