I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize