she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
