U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
