I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
