Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
