I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
