I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
