): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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