Having a random hookup so left but love u
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
