It's Friday. Sex?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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