So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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