A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
