just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize