I must be too annoying 4 u.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
