Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
