I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
