guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
