I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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