Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
