put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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