tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
