I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
