He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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