Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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