Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We were destined to go to rehab together
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
