I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
