just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
