Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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