So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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