what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We're too hungover to prance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
