guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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