My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
