I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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