Got a toothbrush?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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