Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
