haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
