I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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